User:Robertinventor/ca2jamestrimmed

Thanks for bringing these points up.

I reread my whole Wikinews talk page starting in March and some other talk pages from around the same time. You're right; that extended conversation between Gryllida, Ca2james and me is repetitive and charged. I've been trying to find ways to have more effective, cooler-headed conversations on Wikinews ever since. I will add that Gryllida has been invaluable toward that goal, both through their deliberate actions and things I noticed about G passively.

'''Gryllida suggested that I write essays about my experience on Wikinews. I wasn't hot on the idea at first, but I gave it a try and it turned out to be a real winner. I think I managed a few good ones. If you've got the time, I'd like you to take a look at. During the March conversations, I found one thing that helped was finding a way to slow the conversation down. The more time there was in between posts, the cooler-headed my posts were, and usually the other participants' too. I wrote Slowdown and Downturn. Although SVTCobra is probably right that they're unenforceable, they did get me thinking.

I find that when someone makes a post addressed to me, I take it as permission to continue. And then they take my post as permission for them to continue, and so on. Here are a few of the things I've tried since the conversation in your link


 * '''Tell the other person I need a break. "I wrote up a response to your post, but I think we need to slow down, or at least I do. Okay if I respond in 12 hours instead of now?" The other party responded well.


 * Finding a way to end conversations: I always knew telling people to stop talking just made them angry, but the trick is to either let the other person have the last word, set them up to have the last word or say something that I don't think they'll mind being the last word.


 * If the mentorship goes forward, I will be asking questions like "What am I missing?" and "Do you know a conflict resolution technique that would work?"

My plan for the future is if I ever notice myself going back and forth with someone else, and I feel the discussion might be getting even a little out of hand/uncivil, I'll step away from the discussion where I can, or do the things that I've tried in the past since the discussion that was referenced by you/Ca2james